HAPPY NOVEMBER!!!

Its been a long time since I wrote in my blog!!! Lots has happened!! First off, Bryce and I got married in July!! (for those who didn't already know.) We went to Disneyland on our honeymoon, and it was the BEST!!! We loved it!! I want to go back and never leave!!!!!! We had such a good time. It was my first time in Disneyland. Oh! and we also went to the beach!! I had never been to the ocean before! It was fun and scary. Bryce got swallowed by some really big waves-and then he lost his contacts. Oh sad! It was a good trip. We had some people tell us that we shouldn't have gone on a honeymoon, that we should have stayed home and saved our money, but we both strongly believed in going on a honeymoon, even if its just something small and local. We were really blessed to already have the money for our honeymoon, so we used it. We loved it and are both so very glad that we made that choice! It was the best ever! I very strongly encourage everyone to go on a honeymoon. After all, when will you ever have the chance to be alone like that together without the pressures of school, work, or life? Looking back, our honeymoon is one of the happiest times of my life. We got back from our honeymoon and eased back into life, kinda awkwardly, but still managed. But then life hit us pretty hard. We lost a job. And the job we had left was one that was very much despised. That was only a few of weeks after getting back (actually it was a month). It was a very hard time for us. Eventually we got out of that hated job into something that we thought was better (mostly). Its less hours, but its the same pay rate. Its a much better job than the old one anyways. Still on the hunt for another job, so if anyone has any thoughts, they would be appreciated. Halloween night was a small-ish affair for us. We had candy, but had no trick or treaters!! SAD!!! We were all excited for them! Oh well. We went and bought some cheap Halloween type movies and watched those together. It was good times. November is kinda a big month for us. Well for me anyways. Bryce does good at cheering for it and being excited with me. Last November was when we started dating! We had lots of firsts in November. We started talking in November, and then being offical! (I thought that was something to celebrate). We laugh and joke about our first month together and how it all happened, but we mostly just carry on with our lives. Bryce is busy with school, and I'm working and keeping house. Which reminds me I better go get the chicken out of the freezer!! Anyways we are very happy and love being married (to each other).

Nervous Butterflies

Well today is Tuesday June 28,2011. I had always dreamed of getting married on june 28. I don't know why, but the date seemed like a good one. Now as everything is approaching, I'm kind of glad that we didn't get married today. Mainly because our preperations are not all completed and we didn't even finish up our invitations until last week. (Even just tonight I had two more I had to make for some friends). The wedding is next week and approaching very quickly! Its almost scary how little time we have actually have left. My wedding has always been something that was way far off in the future. It caused me lots of hard times and tears because it was taking so long for it to arrive and for me to find someone. Now that its here its a very scary thought. Its a good one for sure and I'm so excited for it, but i do have my own little sad things. Such as my name change. I have always loved being a Benson. I have loved having that name and being a part of the family I am. Now my name will no longer be that and no one will know me as Benson anymore. While Ford is a very good name, and I feel very honored to have that name and that family now, I still feel just a twing of sadness that my name will change. However, the trade is well worth it! Also this week I am to do something I have never gone through before. I am very nervous about that, but I know it will be a good thing. There have been so many different things that Bryce and I have encountered together throughout our engagement. Some big, some little. Some not expected at all. Neither of us thought that I would all of a sudden have to go in for surgery!! That was a very nervous experience for me. The closeset things to a surgery i had ever had was when I got my wisdom teeth removed, and that doesn't really count because I was awake for it!! They didn't even give me the choice for this surgery, they just said they will put me under. It was an interesting experience. Not as bad as I thought it would be, but not very fun anyways. But Bryce was very supportive through all of it! I'm glad to have him. (My Mom and family were also very good at supporting me too!) Anyways just lots of changes and lots of things taking place. But the changes are good and soon we will be married and get to go to Disneyland and start our life together!!!! Thats the part I'm excited for!!!!

HAPPY BUTTERFLIES

HAPPY!!!!!!!!! I'm ENGAGED!!!!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so exciting!!! My Fiancee is the most perfect man for me imaginable!! He proposed to me on April 16, 2011. :D He pulled the ring out of a vending machine! He totally had it all set up!!! It was such a surprise!! Anyways our wedding will be in July at the Mount Timpanogos Temple!!! Its so exciting!! I can't wait to be married to him! :D :D I was just thinking today how if the events from October that were really hard for me had not happened, then I would not be where I'm at today, and I most certainly would not be engaged. At the time it was really hard and upsetting for me, and to some extent it still is, however I got everything I wanted out of it! I got to get out of College Terrace. I got away from all the people who kept trying to control my live... and my relationships. I got to do this one with my significant other, without other people telling me what to do and ordering me around. That is exactly what I had been wanting. And now we're engaged! It worked out quite well for us both. This happened right when it was needed by us both. God really does know what he is doing. The thing about the events from October and my up and leaving randomly from CT, I kept thinking the whole time that God was trying to tell me to not wait to move home in December, like I had originally been planning on, but to move home right then. There was something and some reason why God needed me out of the situations I was in right then. He was right! There were things I needed that I couldn't have where I was at. God really does guide and lead my life. Most of the time I try to think that i'm in control of myself and my life, but then God proves me wrong,and makes things so much better than I ever could. Everything has happened just beautifully. I know that Gods hand has been involved in this from the begining, and his hand has been in my life since the very begining. Anyways, just dropping a little butterfly to let y'all know that I'm very happy and very glad that my life has turned out how it has.

Church Butterflies

Its been over a month since I wrote a blog. I think its time to fix that! This month has been a really hard month for me. I was really sick for a while. Sick enough that I went to the doctor! I never go to the doctor! I hate going to the doctor! Its been years since I had to have an antibiotic! Nonetheless, this time, I needed an antibiotic to get better. Luckily the medicine worked and so did the blessing! I got better :D The only problem is that the cough I had hung on. It wasn't going away. Then it started to get worse. It seemed like I was praying a lot for my cough to go away. That doesn't seem like such a bad thing to pray for right? Anyways as I was sitting in church on sunday during sunday school, we were talking about the miracle of when Christ feeds the five thousand. Then later people start to follow him and he basically says that all they are wanting is a free lunch. Thats when it hit me. I had been praying for my cough to go away and to get better. I had been praying for what I wanted. Prayers are answered on faith. (ok, well God always answeres prayers, but I think you know what I mean). Did I have faith that my prayers would be answered? Yes. Absolutely. But I had been having faith that my prayers would be answered how I wanted them to be answered. I had been having the 'faith' that God would give me what I wanted just because I asked for it. I needed to have the faith that God will give me what He thinks is best for me, which most of the time, isn't what I want. I remember watching a show with John Bytheway (I think it was him. If not him, then it was some other funny Mormon guy) and he was talking about how greatful he is to have a Father who loves us so much that sometimes he says 'no'. So I realized that I need to start putting more trust in God and his plan for me.

Butterflies of my life

I was told to update my blog today.... Hmmm.... Still don't know what to say... Any great ideas out there? I'm sitting here at school. Not doing my homework and waiting for Bryce to finish talking to his teacher. I found out where to get the ab workouts I want, cause I had to give the one I had been using back to my old roommate when I moved out. (That really sucked!) Oh well. At least I am out of that aparmtent and away from the ct stupidity. Haliljuah! School is going fine. Its going by really fast this semester which is kinda stressfull. But its school, so its always gonna be stressfull. Work is going fine. I get to close with Lisa tonight, and thats always fun. I had a thought the other night at work about being happy. ok. now what was my thought? Oh yeah! It had something to do with how happy people are just so awesome and make life so much better for everyone and thats what I want to be in my life. I want to be the happy one who is always a bright sunshine for everyone. Yeah, I'm a work in progress. But its still progress. The thing about living at ct, I stopped progressing. I had stopped for so long, that when I started it again, people were against it. But I still made the correct decisions for myself. I just wish that more people knew the real reason why I left and not the gossip that had spread around. the thing about gossip, its like this story I once heard. I can't remember where though. It was a master and a student. The student had said some terrible things one day and wanted to make it all better. So the master gave him a bag a of goose feathers and told the student to scatter them to the four winds. The student did so, then returned to his master for more instruction. The master told him to go and pick up all the feathers that he had scattered. The student exclaimed "thats impossible!" and the master said "so it is with the damage done from gossip. You cant pick up and collect all the hurtfull things said and the damage done."
well thats quoted ver batim. but you get the idea. Anyways this is a long blog about nothing really. Its like the play "Waiting for Godot" The play is about nothing and the author has even said that when you figure out what its about, you can just get up and leave. Cause its not about anything!! Its very interesting how he does that. (its a boring play however). So this is what my mind is like when I'm bored. It flitters from one thought to the next- like a butterfly! Yup, I'm bored. It is now 2:15. Perhaps I will do my homework now. Ok. Bryce just told me to make a happy blog. Thats a good idea. Life is great. I have a great boyfriend, I have great friends, I have lots of great family. I have great classes, The sun is shining today :) that always makes me happy! Its almost spring!!! Valentines is on Monday!!! Its almost the weekend! Its almost three months!!! My birthday is comming up! I've seen lots of old friends this week! thats always so fun! Oh! I get to work with Ariel tonight!! My Sister!!!! YES!!!! Love working with Ariel!! I'm gonna hang out with my friends on pres. day! (I think). I love daisys. I have decided that for my bouquet, I am having daisys and red roses!! So pretty!! (What does that mean??) haha. I have my legs on Bryces' lap right now. Oh I had a normal size snickers bar today!! How often does that happen? It was so exciting!! I enjoyed it a lot. Oh I had a blt yesterday! It was so good!!!! I need to make one for Bryce now!! I wish I was at home more often because I want to cook more! I miss cooking! I love cooking! But I'm really only ever at home for sleep. My presentation is over!!! HOORAY!! It went good. This is a super long post and its totally random, but I guess thats what I'm like anyways. So its all good.

CrAzY yEt WoNdErFuL!

Its been a long time since I wrote here! Or maybe its just been a long time since I really wrote anything super relevant to life. That might be it. It is now a new year!! 2011 baby!!! And its starting off great!! But that might have more to do with the fact that 2010 ended great than anything to do with the past two weeks. Last semester kicked my butt!! Holy Cow! Was it ever tough!! Oh boy! Anyways all during last semester I was dating this one guy, going to school full time, working five days a week, having lame sauce fights with roommates over really inconsequencial things, dealing with people who were suppossed to be friends gossiping about me, dealing with bed bugs, stop dating that guy, dealing with an old friend comming back from a mish, and start dating my wonderful boyfriend! And trying to pass all of my classes and get enough sleep and do all of my stressfull homework. And spending lots more time talking to my friends. Oh and did i mention moving?? Yup I moved!! Right during mid-terms too! So that adds an extra level of stressfull intensity to life. (Half of my stuff is still in my car). Plus I didn't just move places. I moved cities, zip codes, I moved out of an apartment and back home- although I can't really call it home since I had never lived there before! And its a city that is COMPLETELY out of the way from everything in my whole life! Oh and I switched wards. Oh and all of this was happening in October and some in Nov. So all of this happened right at the same time! Man was it intense!!! But you know what? I love my life now!! They say that fire is a cleanser. It is a necessary force of nature that goes through and purifies. Last semester was a purifyier for me. It got a lot of unneeded crap out of my life! My life has been so much more stressfree and un-dramatic since that time!! Even though some of those changes were really really hard and trying for me, I know that my life is better because they have taken place. I love my life now!! The only thing I would change is maybe that I lived closer to my life and maybe that some lost friendships hadn't been lost. But I know that i'm a better person because of all of these changes. Last semester really became my refiners fire. For parts of it I really did feel like I was walking through fire. And sometimes I felt all alone while doing so. But I wasn't alone. I had wonderful friends who really came through for me and helped me along and showed me I wasn't alone. Plus God blessed me so much and gave me wonderful blessings for going through those trials. My life is so much better now!!! And this year is so amazing!!! Its so liberating to not have all of that unnecessary clutter that I had been dragging around for a long time!! I'm free!! I'm Free!! I"M FREE!!!!!!!!