How about being responsible pet owners instead of pushing the care of your pet onto someone else.

Recently there has been a meme on social media depicting a cat on top of a tire underneath a car. The caption talks about how its getting cold outside so we need to check our cars to make sure there aren't any cats up in them because cats like to be there to keep warm. There are a few things wrong with this meme:

1. Animals don't climb on top of the tires to stay warm. They crawl up inside by the engine because that is where its warm. Not the tires.  This meme is just trying to tug on the heartstrings of the gullible. 

2. If its your pet, it is YOUR responsibility to keep your pet away from my car. Why should I have to check for someone Else's pet when I get in my car? My car is parked on MY driveway on MY property. YOUR pet has no business being on MY property in the first place.

3. This ties in to point number 2. If you have a pet, it is YOUR responsibility to keep YOUR pet on YOUR property. Why would you let it wonder around on its own away from your property? I understand that sometimes pets get out. It is a shame when that happens. I know. I've had it happen to me. However, what are peoples excuse for their pet getting out when they don't take care of their pet? If they let the pet wander around lose with the gate open? Of course the pet is going to get out. 

I have neighbors who have cats. They let their cats roam around without any notice from their owners. These cats get in my yard all the time (don't believe me, come to my front door step and take a whiff). I'm not going to get down on the ground in the snow to check to make sure there is not a cat under my car.  If a cat gets in my car and I turn on my car, its a shame. I will feel bad for killing an animal. But this is not on my head. It is on the cat owners head. They were the ones careless enough to let their pet get out and wonder around on its own. Most of the time my neighbors don't even notice that their cat is in my yard. Then again, I see them outside smoking and their cat is in the middle of the street and they don't call it back. At that point I have to conclude that they are asking for someone to run over their cat.

Before anyone gets angry (am I too late for that? Probably)  I do hold the opposite as logical as well. If my pet got out of my yard and crawled up into someone Else's engine,I don't expect the car owner to check their car first, and if it kills my pet, I will be sad yes, but I understand that it is my fault for letting my pet get out in the first place. 

If you don't like the rules, DON'T HAVE A PET! Its as simple as that.

Death: A letter to my Grandfather

I have had death on my mind a lot lately. I've had many thoughts and feelings and I think the best way for me to get them all out is  to have this blog be a letter to someone I love who is dying

Dear Karl,

I know you will never read this, and I will never read it to you,since overtly emotional things embarrass us both, but I hope that somehow you will be able to feel these words and know. 

I know that we never really spend a lot of time talking, You are one of the few people where I know I don't have to sit and fill the silence with mindless chatter. I'm not always the biggest talker and neither are you. Its just  been  nice to sit in each others company and be lost to our own thoughts and not feel like we have to say anything (of course I usually do feel like I should be saying something).

You know that when I was eleven my other grandfather died, and then when I was 18 my Father died. And now here I am at 25 watching you as you slowly die. (see a pattern anywhere there?) You are all I have left.  I don't know if I should feel happy for you that you are getting your wish to die, or if I should feel relieved that you don't have to suffer anymore, or even if I should feel angry that you are refusing treatments (which in all honesty may not work anyways).  But here I am feeling very confused on how I feel and knowing there is no right or wrong way to feel, yet not being able to make up my mind. About four years ago (or so) you and I made a deal. I made a deal with you that you had to be alive and healthy enough to be at my wedding, and then after that you could die any time you wanted too-even the very next day (although I really was hoping that you would wait at least until I was back from my Honeymoon). You held up your end of the bargain and I know I have to hold up my end (Even though neither of us really ever had a say on when you die).  I was hoping that you would still be around for when I had my first child. I know how badly you were wanting a great grand child. I guess I was too slow on that one, but at least Robert was able to give you one. I'm very happy you could live long enough to have a great grand child. I never would have pictured that Robert would be the first one to give you one though!

You were my grandfather, but in more ways you were more of a substitute father to me when my own wasn't able to be there. (Which now that I think about it, really is what a Grandfather is anyways) You were the one who went with me to my achievement day activities when it was a Daddy/Daughter date when Daddy couldn't make it. You were the one who would drive me to voice lessons (and paid for them too), school, Dr's appointments, plays, Choir concerts, and you and Grammie were the ones to take us Christmas/birthday shopping for the rest of my family. I have had many men in my life who have fit into a surrogate 'Dad' role, and as much as I love and cherish these men, none of them have as legitimate a claim as you do. You are a direct blood relative. You are the Patriarch of my family. You are my Grandfather. You are my Fathers Father. And I've always loved and respected you as such. As much as I have been seeing how alike I am with my Dad these past several years, I never really realized how alike he is to you, which means how alike I am to you. 

You were one of the witnesses at my wedding. You will never know how much that means to me. I had always wanted my Dad at my wedding, but when he passed away, that was no longer an option. So I went with the next best thing-his Father. If my own Father couldn't be a witness at my wedding, I had to have you. You will never know how important it was for me to have a blood related Father figure at my wedding in the place of my own Dad. Which is why you couldn't have died before I got married. I had some very pointed talks with God about what I wanted.

In one of my favorite books, the main character says she doesn't know which is worse: the sudden deaths or the slow drawn out diseases that last for years and everyone knows that this is what will eventually kill the person. I've had some time to think about it lately, and having experienced both of these types, I have decided I'd rather deal with the sudden deaths. The hardest part about those ones is simply the shock of it.

I'm going to miss the twinkle in your eyes and the jokes and teasing you had for everybody and the way you would give advice without asserting yourself and forcing your way into other peoples business. I have quietly watched your quiet example for years and have come to love and respect you on a whole new level. 

In the end all I can really think of to say is something I read in another one of my favorite books. Its a book about a man who is dying and he gets a letter from someone, he says:   "I heard from a man in his early forties with serious heart problems. He wrote to tell me about Krishnamurti, a spiritual leader in India who died in 1986. Krishnamurti was once asked what is the most appropriate thing to say to a friend who was about to die. He answered: 'Tell your friend that in his death, a part of you dies and goes with him. Wherever he goes, you also go. He will not be alone.'"

 

I love you forever Grampie.