"Someone watching over me"

So....I'm sick. (Not that anyone really wants to know). It started on Monday with just a sore throat and has progressively gotten worse each day. Last night was the worst so far. However, because of this illness, I had a really interesting experience last night. I was in bed, feeling incredibly sick! Worse than I have felt for a very long time. I was dizzy, had a headache, my forehead was hot, somewhat sick to the stomache, and could not get comfortable, and felt like CRAP! To top it off, I started crying (super lame?.... Yes). I remembered how when I was in sixth grade and I was in bed with headaches, God would sent lots of Angels down to come be with me, and how he still sends me Angels when I need them. So I asked God for these comforting Angels...and for my Dad. And He sent them. The interesting experience is that I felt my Dad giving me a blessing. I felt his hands on my head and I felt him speaking words. I couldnt understand the words, but I sure felt them. I wasn't even sure if it was possible for the Dead to give blessings like that, but after all the experiences I have had with the dead, I'm pretty much up for believing almost anything. That was my cool experience. My Dad giving me a blessing. Maybe its not cool for others, but I'm a firm believer in blessings. I don't believe in getting them too often or when you don't need them, but I definately believe in getting them when you do. In fact, thats how I got better from being super sick as a baby! I just thought it quite remarkable that even though my Father is passed on, he still can give me a blessing in my times of need. I got the impression, that he can't do that all the time, but only in times of dire need. And I really was very ill last night! But I know that I will always have an Angel looking out for me! Thank you Daddy!! I love you!

what you really want

So on the front cover of one of the movies I own is a quote that says "Sometimes what you're looking for is right where you left it." I always thought that was kind of an ironic saying. Yet its still true, and I think I am starting to understand what that really means. I'm not saying that I have found what I want, or that I even have walked away from it. What I am saying is that I am realizing how important it is to know what you want, and to take the time to make sure that what you think you want, really is what you want. Also that it is important to make choices that you can feel comfortable and happy with, while understanding the consequences of those choices. Even if those consequences can bring some measure of discomfort, if its a choice that you know was right, then its still ok. I'm sure that this probably doesn't make much sense to anyone but me, but I am thoroughly convinced that nobody but me reads this anyways, so thats ok.

Some of my blessings! :)

So today I have been thinking a lot. Granted I do that everyday, but today I have been thinking a lot about positive things and positivity. Maybe its because of my positive psychology class, or maybe I'm just finally understanding some truths, but I have been thinking a lot about being happy and being gratefull. I have so many blessings in my life and I unfortunatley take most of them for granted. I have a wonderful family whom I love and who loves me! I have a wonderful Heavenly Father who gives me trials to make me a better person! I have a Savior who lived his life so that I could make it back to live with my Heavenly Parents and family, despite all of my shortcommings. I have a Father who, while dead, is still alive and is still very much a part of me and my daily life. I have a wonderful Mother who puts up with all of my frustrations and complaining. I have a great sister who is one of my best friends. I have so many great friends who support me and we still love each other even though separated by distance, time, or lifes commings and goings. I have a great exteneded family who are very close and dear to my heart. I have a job that covers my expenses, I have a place to live with a ceiling, walls around me, and a floor that is not made of dirt. I am able to go to a university to gain an education! I have goals that I am working to achieve, and I have direction and purpose to my life. (even though sometimes I don't know what that is!) I have a body that is healthy and lets me do the things that I want to do. I have a strong mind that can overcome any obstacle. I have a great network of people in my life! I have great thoughts and great books to read that help me to see how happy life really is, and how blessed I really am! And so, I would ask this one question to you: Do you know how blessed you are?

Everything happens for a reason

Today is a good day. This past week I have been really stressed out over some things that really don't matter. I have been trying to not let the pettiness of other people get me down, but for a while there I was failing horribly. Even though I felt that I was doing what was right by me and by God, the unwarranted accusations of others were still weighing heavily on my mind. Then last night things happened that have made all the difference. I had a choice last night. I could have chosen to go to a bon fire and goof off with a bunch of people. While this would have undoubtedly been a blast, I was not feeling very well. I had had a migraine. I chose instead to stay at the apartments and spend time with someone I care about and his roommates. We decided to watch the movie 'Taken" with Lliam Nieson. Now anyone who has ever heard me speak about Lliam Nieson before knows that I have a soft spot in my heart for him since he looks so much like my Father. His role in 'Taken' makes him seem even more like my Father. Watching this movie caused me to think. My Father taught me to not care about what other people say or think. Who are they to be saying such things anyways? You do what you feel you need to do and hang what other people say. Some how this movie has connected me to what my Father has taught me my whole life, and that I don't need anyone to tell me what to do or who to be. I can make those decisions on my own, and since my Father is who he is, I will ALWAYS have him, and lots of other people, both living and dead;standing behind me and supporting me, whatever my decisions are! Also the song 'I'd come for you' by Nickleback has been in my head since watching this movie and that song is really all about mine and my Fathers relationship.
While I'm sure I missed out on a great night at a bon fire with some awesome people, I find that I had an even better night sitting at home (or Williams apartment) and spending time with some awesome people and a movie, and remembering my Father and the lessons he has taught me. I find this oddly fitting since its August and later this month will mark four years since he passed away.

Much Ado about Nothing!! Shakespear had it right

Ok so in journalism there is something called "accuracy in journalism." That is where the journalist has to check and make sure the facts are correct before the article gets typed or printed. Lately I have found out that some people have been hinting to other people about something that they think I have done. Instead of exercising something I would call "accuracy in living" and actually asking me if its true or not, they have been hinting to other people, such as a Priesthood leader about what it is that I supposedly did. The Priesthood leader came to me and asked me about it first hand. HA! For anyone who cares (there are only three of you following this, and I really don't expect anyone to read it anyways.) I did not do what was being said. It wouldn't even be a big deal if I did do it. But I have not done that, nor do I intend to do it. The point is is that whoever is hinting or spreading around the 'fact' that I did said deed, should be a more responsible human being and should have asked me and had 'accuracy in living."

perspective

Last week I took a trip up to Idaho. Since there is not much to do in Idaho I had lots of time to think. For some reason one morning I was thinking about death. My Mom has given me this example about a ship. How on one side the people are sad because the ship is leaving, but on the other side the people are excited and saying 'here it comes!' While in Idaho I kept feeling like there was something that I needed to be doing back in my life in Utah that I was not accomplishing while in Idaho, and how good it would feel to get back to my life. I started thinking about death and how maybe the person is relieved once they are dead cause then they feel like they are finally where they are meant to be and able to do what they are meant to be doing. While here on earth we get so caught up in mundane trival things, maybe once we are dead we realize that those things don't truly matter and then we can focus on what really matters most...

My way to change the world! a pipe dream.

So this week I have had a few of my faults pointed out to me in several different ways. While most people would probably find this to be an unhappy experiece, I am so so so excited about it! These are flaws that I have been wanting to work on and have just not been sure on how to do so. After they were pointed out to me I spent hours thinking and doing research in the scriptures and my patriarchle blessing. I spent a lot of time with God too. Now a few days later I am still super excited for these changes. I am excited for a few different reasons. One because I get to create. I get to spend time thinking about the person I want to be and then create it! Plus I have the best creative partner ever!...God! He and I have been spending a lot of time together discussing what it is that we both want for me and for my life, and for the first time we are both in agreement! Last night I worked the cash register for my whole shift at work. While normally this is not one of my favorite things to do, I decided that I was going to make the most of it and use it for my benefit. Since one of the flaws pointed out to me is that I am depressed too often, and that I have too many walls up (both of which are true) I decided that I was going to be happy and open and to love each customer who came through my line and to find the good in them. I also wanted to be able to make each customer smile at least once before they left my line. While doing this experiment I realized that I was having the time of my life! Imagine, having so much fun while stuck on a cash register! Crazy! I have not had that much fun in a long time! This lead me to think about how my smiling and being super happy made the customer smile. I realized that when people are super happy it always rubs off on me and makes my day better. So this is my master plan for changing the world. I am going to use chain reactions! If I can be super happy and smiling at everyone I come in contact with,then maybe they will be happier and smile at the people they come in contact with, and maybe that will just keep going and going and going. They say that everybody is connected by six people. So maybe if I can influence the people around me, then they will influence those around them and perhaps all together we will create a world (or the world around us) that is much happier and has fewer problems!