To the man in the Home Depot parking lot

I don't know your name. I don't know if you're from around here or were just in town for the holidays. I don't know what business brought you to Home Depot on Saturday, but I would like to say 'thank you'. I know the odds of this man reading this are non existent, but I still feel like I should write this anyways.

 Let me explain what happened. My Husband and I had ventured out to Home Depot to buy some drill bits for a project we were working on. When we got into our car it wouldn't start. We jump started our vehicle and then foolishly put our 1 pair of jumper cables back in our truck and drove on to Home Depot. When we got into our car after we had made our purchase we discovered that our car wouldn't start again. And we had left our jumper cables at home. We flagged down a man and son who were parked by us but they didn't have jumper cables either. They seemed like they would have helped if they could have-so thank you  to them as well.   We decided that it would be easier to flag someone down to help jump start our car if we had jumper cables so we went back in to the store and bought some.  Before that though we were sitting in our car (because it was very cold out and we were looking up automotive places on our phones) with our hood up, and I was watching cars go past and not one of them noticed us sitting there in need of help. After we did our part and bought jumper cables a man in a truck parked by us. Thankfully the people who shop at hardware stores are generally the same sort of people so my husband communicated with this man through hand gestures without the man having to turn off his truck,  and he swung his truck around and helped us jump start our car and helped us determine if it was the alternator or the battery.  We then took our car to automotive places and got a new battery.
My point is that this man went out of his way to help us. He didn't know us, He didn't have to help us, but he chose to. In a world where most people only look out for number 1, its nice to see examples of  service still alive and well.
To this man, Thank you for taking time out of your day to help. It might seem like it was a small thing but it wasn't to us.

Merry Christmas!!!!

2013 was a good year for the Ford family. It started off with lots of school and ended with lots of school and we had a fun summer in between.

Jessie: I unexpectedly went back to school in January. I was working full time and took 9 credit hours. I had some hard classes (namely Psychopharmacology, which is the best class ever!) I was fortunate enough to be able to do all of my homework at work and I managed to get a 4.0 that semester! Then a few weeks after that semester ended I went back to school to take my statistics class. I failed it, but at least I qualify for the ‘don’t pass, don’t pay’ program so I can retake it for free. Work has kept me busy doing administrative work for my bosses and now I get to work with my departments budget.

Bryce: Went to school in the January semester and got good grades and he just finished up a really hard semester. He is working full time and was taking 15 credit hours! The past few months have been very difficult but we are very happy they are over!

Sasha: (our dog) Still loves to sass us!

Back in January Bryce got laid off from his job-all thanks to Obama and affordable care act. Bryce’s’ bosses didn’t want to let him go (it was HRs decision not theirs). They wrote him glowing letters of reference and a month later Bryce got hired on at Xactware! He has been there ever since and it’s a great job! During the summer we had quite the adventure. We stayed at a couple of hotels for our anniversary, went to Las Vegas for a day, and then when we got on this side of St. George, we discovered that we needed to go to San Diego to pick up Bryce’s sister.  So at around 8 pm we started the long drive to California. We drove through the night and tried taking turns driving and sleeping but that didn’t work out so well and we were both hallucinating by the time we got to his sisters’ house! We also didn’t have an overnight bag or anything because when we left our house we thought we were only going to Las Vegas for the day. It was a fun trip in San Diego. We got to play with our niece and nephews and then we went to the beach and saw Dolphins in the ocean! That was really cool. In October we drove down to New Mexico to visit Bryce’s brother and his family. We went to the Balloon Fiesta! It was very cold but lots of fun. We also went camping a couple of times over the summer. It was a very fun year and we can’t wait for more fun next year.

We hope you have a Merry Christmas!

How about being responsible pet owners instead of pushing the care of your pet onto someone else.

Recently there has been a meme on social media depicting a cat on top of a tire underneath a car. The caption talks about how its getting cold outside so we need to check our cars to make sure there aren't any cats up in them because cats like to be there to keep warm. There are a few things wrong with this meme:

1. Animals don't climb on top of the tires to stay warm. They crawl up inside by the engine because that is where its warm. Not the tires.  This meme is just trying to tug on the heartstrings of the gullible. 

2. If its your pet, it is YOUR responsibility to keep your pet away from my car. Why should I have to check for someone Else's pet when I get in my car? My car is parked on MY driveway on MY property. YOUR pet has no business being on MY property in the first place.

3. This ties in to point number 2. If you have a pet, it is YOUR responsibility to keep YOUR pet on YOUR property. Why would you let it wonder around on its own away from your property? I understand that sometimes pets get out. It is a shame when that happens. I know. I've had it happen to me. However, what are peoples excuse for their pet getting out when they don't take care of their pet? If they let the pet wander around lose with the gate open? Of course the pet is going to get out. 

I have neighbors who have cats. They let their cats roam around without any notice from their owners. These cats get in my yard all the time (don't believe me, come to my front door step and take a whiff). I'm not going to get down on the ground in the snow to check to make sure there is not a cat under my car.  If a cat gets in my car and I turn on my car, its a shame. I will feel bad for killing an animal. But this is not on my head. It is on the cat owners head. They were the ones careless enough to let their pet get out and wonder around on its own. Most of the time my neighbors don't even notice that their cat is in my yard. Then again, I see them outside smoking and their cat is in the middle of the street and they don't call it back. At that point I have to conclude that they are asking for someone to run over their cat.

Before anyone gets angry (am I too late for that? Probably)  I do hold the opposite as logical as well. If my pet got out of my yard and crawled up into someone Else's engine,I don't expect the car owner to check their car first, and if it kills my pet, I will be sad yes, but I understand that it is my fault for letting my pet get out in the first place. 

If you don't like the rules, DON'T HAVE A PET! Its as simple as that.

Death: A letter to my Grandfather

I have had death on my mind a lot lately. I've had many thoughts and feelings and I think the best way for me to get them all out is  to have this blog be a letter to someone I love who is dying

Dear Karl,

I know you will never read this, and I will never read it to you,since overtly emotional things embarrass us both, but I hope that somehow you will be able to feel these words and know. 

I know that we never really spend a lot of time talking, You are one of the few people where I know I don't have to sit and fill the silence with mindless chatter. I'm not always the biggest talker and neither are you. Its just  been  nice to sit in each others company and be lost to our own thoughts and not feel like we have to say anything (of course I usually do feel like I should be saying something).

You know that when I was eleven my other grandfather died, and then when I was 18 my Father died. And now here I am at 25 watching you as you slowly die. (see a pattern anywhere there?) You are all I have left.  I don't know if I should feel happy for you that you are getting your wish to die, or if I should feel relieved that you don't have to suffer anymore, or even if I should feel angry that you are refusing treatments (which in all honesty may not work anyways).  But here I am feeling very confused on how I feel and knowing there is no right or wrong way to feel, yet not being able to make up my mind. About four years ago (or so) you and I made a deal. I made a deal with you that you had to be alive and healthy enough to be at my wedding, and then after that you could die any time you wanted too-even the very next day (although I really was hoping that you would wait at least until I was back from my Honeymoon). You held up your end of the bargain and I know I have to hold up my end (Even though neither of us really ever had a say on when you die).  I was hoping that you would still be around for when I had my first child. I know how badly you were wanting a great grand child. I guess I was too slow on that one, but at least Robert was able to give you one. I'm very happy you could live long enough to have a great grand child. I never would have pictured that Robert would be the first one to give you one though!

You were my grandfather, but in more ways you were more of a substitute father to me when my own wasn't able to be there. (Which now that I think about it, really is what a Grandfather is anyways) You were the one who went with me to my achievement day activities when it was a Daddy/Daughter date when Daddy couldn't make it. You were the one who would drive me to voice lessons (and paid for them too), school, Dr's appointments, plays, Choir concerts, and you and Grammie were the ones to take us Christmas/birthday shopping for the rest of my family. I have had many men in my life who have fit into a surrogate 'Dad' role, and as much as I love and cherish these men, none of them have as legitimate a claim as you do. You are a direct blood relative. You are the Patriarch of my family. You are my Grandfather. You are my Fathers Father. And I've always loved and respected you as such. As much as I have been seeing how alike I am with my Dad these past several years, I never really realized how alike he is to you, which means how alike I am to you. 

You were one of the witnesses at my wedding. You will never know how much that means to me. I had always wanted my Dad at my wedding, but when he passed away, that was no longer an option. So I went with the next best thing-his Father. If my own Father couldn't be a witness at my wedding, I had to have you. You will never know how important it was for me to have a blood related Father figure at my wedding in the place of my own Dad. Which is why you couldn't have died before I got married. I had some very pointed talks with God about what I wanted.

In one of my favorite books, the main character says she doesn't know which is worse: the sudden deaths or the slow drawn out diseases that last for years and everyone knows that this is what will eventually kill the person. I've had some time to think about it lately, and having experienced both of these types, I have decided I'd rather deal with the sudden deaths. The hardest part about those ones is simply the shock of it.

I'm going to miss the twinkle in your eyes and the jokes and teasing you had for everybody and the way you would give advice without asserting yourself and forcing your way into other peoples business. I have quietly watched your quiet example for years and have come to love and respect you on a whole new level. 

In the end all I can really think of to say is something I read in another one of my favorite books. Its a book about a man who is dying and he gets a letter from someone, he says:   "I heard from a man in his early forties with serious heart problems. He wrote to tell me about Krishnamurti, a spiritual leader in India who died in 1986. Krishnamurti was once asked what is the most appropriate thing to say to a friend who was about to die. He answered: 'Tell your friend that in his death, a part of you dies and goes with him. Wherever he goes, you also go. He will not be alone.'"

 

I love you forever Grampie.

For once I share my opinons and the reasonings behind them

I'll say this at the outset, this is something I have strong feelings for so my language will be rather blunt and to the point. Although my language is always like that so this shouldn't be anything different. I also don't usually share my opinions with very many people, so when asked I give the smallest possible answer. However I have lots to say on this topic.
Lately I've been seeing all sorts of things about 'fat shaming'. This concept is absolutely ridiculous. Now before I offend the masses of trolls out there waiting to pounce on perceived (in their own minds) attacks on them and their bodies, let me be clear: I do not condone any form of bullying or making fun of others for whatever reason, and I believe that people should feel happy in their own skin. Now that that has been said, maybe I can afford to give some clarity on my position of fat shaming.

1). Self esteem is one thing. Being happy in your own skin is a good thing. However if your own skin is to the point that you are considered morbidly obese, then I think its time to rethink a few lifestyle choices. I'm not saying that you should become depressed, or that its OK for others to make fun of you. I am saying that you should look at your own lifestyle and diet and make some adjustments. I understand that obesity can be caused by all sorts of things (oh believe me, I've heard all the arguments on why its OK for so and so to be overweight because of x y and z). I understand that there are health related issues that happen and obesity is a result. I do have to wonder if the resulting obesity is actually from the health issue, or if the health issue has become a crutch that the individual is using an excuse to not exercise or eat right.

2). Earlier this year the Boy Scouts of America held their annual jamboree. They issued a statement that said if someone was over a certain percent BMI (Body Mass Index) they were recommended to sit out the jamboree since it was going to be a lot of strenuous physical activities. Lets understand something here. The BSA was not trying to bully or make fun of anyone. They were trying to be health conscious of their participants, and lets face it, they were trying to not be liable for any injuries that would occur (not may occur) if someone not in the right shape for those activities were to participate.  Of course the obese community had to rant and rage and shake fists and call names at the BSA and let the whole world know that they felt discriminated against. I think that is what irritates me the most. The BSA was not discriminating or trying to make the obese community feel small (pardon my little pun). If the obese community would spend half as much time working out and eating healthy as they do screaming about perceived injustices towards themselves they wouldn't need to scream and shout because they wouldn't apply to that demographic anymore. Now don't just chalk this section of my rant up to a love for the BSA. I have my own opinions towards them which is a completely different topic.  However I think we need to remember that the BSA is an organization and just as liable for an injury occurring as if you got injured at your place of employment- even if the BSA activity is out in the woods.


3). Fat shaming is a two way street.  I'll admit. I've been skinny my whole life. While to some this may discredit anything I have to say on the subject, that is exactly part of the problem. My whole life I've been thin. I've had countless girls come up to me and tell me that they wish they had my body-so they skipped lunch.  To those girls I always tried to discourage them from that course of action. Skipping a meal is not the way to go. (contrary to popular belief, skipping meals actually slows down your metabolism instead of speeding it up) I would usually then follow that up with how they really didn't want to be as tiny as I am since I could never find clothes that fit. Do you have any idea of how hard it can be to find jeans that are long enough for a teenage girl but small enough in the waste (even with a belt)? Or to find shirts that fit me that didn't have cartoon characters on them? I've had a friend who was dissatisfied with her weight, so her plan of action? Eat one meal a day-however that one meal was usually frozen fried chicken. So here we have the problem of slowing down her metabolism only to stuff her system full of junk food? Exercise was as good as a four letter word to her, so she ate rarely, when she did eat it was junk food, and she didn't exercise. No wonder she was unhappy with her weight!  I've also known people who would say they were trying to eat healthy and to exercise and lose weight, and then they ate a frozen pizza for dinner. Now I have my own opinions of frozen foods (I try to stay away from them), but watching an overweight person eating pre-packaged garbage was too much for me! I almost threw up when I saw that.  Now I'm not telling you this to try and brag about my body.  I may be thin but I'm susceptible to fat just like anybody else. I have had my share of bra fat, cellulite, love handles, and of course the tummy that sticks out over my pants (when I'm standing straight and not even hunched over). Of course when I say this everyone immediately jumps up and all but screams at me that I'm not fat and I look great and I need that extra fat.  Funny thing, I was never saying I was fat, only that I had spots that were fat. This brings me to a point: Just because someone is skinny, doesn't mean they are healthy or in shape.  It drives me absolutely insane when I exercise and work out and people have the ignorance to ask me why I go running, since I'm already skinny and don't need to lose weight. It seems like we've forgotten that exercising isn't just about losing weight. Its for general health and well being. I think we all need to sit down and watch Legally Blonde again. My favorite quote from that movie is "Exercise produces endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't just shoot their husbands. They just don't"  I exercise for a few reasons. It makes me happy, It feels great, I have goals for my body (like I want to be fit and toned), Its a fantastic stress reliever, and it does get rid of excess fat, and the more dangerous fat that is around the organs (that fat shows up way before the visible fat on the outside shows up). What I can't stand is when I post about my exercising, the people who comment and ask me if I can exercise for them since they don't have time since they have a kid and work. Now I used to not think much of that since I don't have a child yet, and I've heard how hard life gets when you have children, but then Maria Kang posted a photo and a little message about how she has three children, owns and runs two business, wasn't naturally skinny, denied cravings, and eats super healthy, and still has time to work out for one hour each day. Now when my friend asked me to work out for her, I though it was silly, I mean I work a 40 hour work week. I have a house to take care of. I'm in and out of school (depending on the semester) and I've been helping to manage my husbands schooling and homework. I'm also a very busy person and I still manage to exercise for an hour each day. I may not be busy with a dependent life, but I have other things that keep me busy, so I'm not sure how a child keeps someone from exercising. That just sounds like they are using their kids as an excuse. Maybe my opinions don't count since I'm not a mother yet, but I don't think you should use your children as an 'excuse'. I'm sure somewhere in the day you can find time to exercise. My cute Mother in Law has 8 children, 5 of which still live at home and she still manages to exercise every day. So I don't understand how people can say they don't have time because they have a child. I know that there are some health problems that come up and some people feel like that gives them an excuse to stop exercising, but I recently read in another persons blog about feeling like you are an exception, and I think he sums it up perfectly:    " If you know that you are the exception to the rule, then so be it. Let me offer two thoughts, though: 1) Even if your weight is totally out of your control, that doesn’t undermine the basic principle that poor diet and lack of exercise lead to obesity, anymore than a tragic accident in shop class undermines the basic principle that humans generally have two hands. 2) Before you declare yourself the exception, consider paraplegics and severely handicapped people who manage, through grit and determination, to be more physically fit than most of us who have full use of our extremities. Are you still an exception? Ok. Fine then."


I will now return back to my point about fat shaming being a two way street. Society tends to label overweight people as undesirable. The obese community complains about this very much. I've heard larger women complain how guys don't like them because they are bigger, and that guys like small girls (then follows the inevitable glance in my direction). What they failed to realize was that I was not getting asked out on dates either. There are plenty of people out there who like larger people, so that excuse falls flat on its butt.
 The obese community complains about being made fun of. With how prevalent bullying is in our society, maybe they should be heard about this issue. However, that does not give them the right to make fun of skinny people. Let me say this again, JUST BECAUSE YOU GET PICKED ON BECAUSE OF YOUR WEIGHT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO PICK ON  ANYONE ELSE BECAUSE OF THEIR WEIGHT.  I have heard countless larger people, and watched documentaries on obesity in my psychology class where the obese person really tears apart skinny people. The larger community really bashed small people and picked on them, while they were in the middle of complaining that people pick on them (the larger people) for their size. This is asinine! I can't tell you how many times I've been accused of being anorexic or bulimic. I wasn't always accused of that by people I know either. I've had complete strangers walk up to me and tell me I was anorexic or bulimic, whichever eating disorder was the flavor of the week. I've patiently explained to these people that I was not in fact anorexic or bulimic and that I have never in fact had any type of eating disorder. The person would at that point disagree with me and tell me I was wrong and there was no way I could be that skinny and not have an eating disorder. Can you imagine the gall of a complete strange to come up to you and insist that you have an eating disorder, even after you explained you didn't? With all the accusations of having an eating disorder when I truly didn't, its amazing that I didn't develop one just because everyone said I had one! In addition to all of that I have also (just like larger people) been teased my whole life about my size. I have constantly heard sayings such as 'Your're so skinny that if you turn sideways and stick out your tongue, you look like a zipper!' and the one EVERYONE seems to know 'You're so small, you have to run around in the shower just to get wet!' While I'm sure these sayings are meant to be funny (judging by the way everyone always collapses on themselves laughing after they utter one of these phrases to me),  I don't really see the humor in them, especially after the 100th time of hearing it. Now, I'm not telling you about these comments so that you can feel bad for me. I'm not trying to throw a pity party. In fact I've learned to just brush off these comments and they don't really bother me too much, but my point is that I have a very hard time being sympathetic to people who are complaining about being made fun of, while in the same breath they make fun of others for a weight issue they can't control either. That was my whole point really. That's why I think it is a two way street. Also, if you are unhappy about something (even your body) its in your power to change it. You also have no right to belittle other peoples success even if you think they 'had it easy' or 'just got lucky' People always  think I'm lucky because I'm so thin. What they don't realize is that I don't give into the cravings for junk food, I work out, and I eat healthy. That isn't just luck. That is hard work and dedication, and nobody has the right to try and tell me that I didn't achieve something just because 'I got lucky'.

Women are clowns... according to America

I've never understood why society says that women have to wear make-up and that make-up makes a woman look pretty. 

Why does it have to be the women that wear the make-up? Is it because society tells us so? Lets look back at the history of make-up in societies for a minute shall we? Go look up pre-revolutionary France. The men wore the make up (and panty hose too, but don't even get me started on my thoughts on panty hose). Take a look at Ancient Egypt, everybody wore make up, not just the women.

 I'm not saying that society needs to go back to having men wear make-up too,because that is a scary image to me, I just don't understand why society seems to think that make-up is what makes a woman beautiful. I've seen countless women wearing make-up that was the wrong shade for them, and made them look rather scary/ugly.  Certainly this can't be what society deems beautiful! If looking like a circus clown is what passes for beauty in our country then count me out! I've never understood why someone would chose to wear red eye shadow! Unless they were trying to look like the devil or look like they had the flu; In which case, they succeeded mightily. Congratulations.

I also cant fathom the amount of money that is spent on something that washes down the sink at the end of the day. Don't get me wrong, I will wear make-up on occasion, and I will purchase new make-up when I need too, but honestly $42 for eye shadow? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! I can think of hundreds of better things to spend that much money on. Especially since most of the colors in that palate are not colors that enhance anyones' natural beauty. I subscribe to the old fashioned rule of thumb, that make-up should enhance the womans' natural beauty, not detract from it. Green and Blue eye shadows just don't enhance natural beauty. It makes them look like bubble-gum popping ditzy teenagers who can't wait to move out of their parents house so that they can wear high heels and act like a 'big girl'.

I think that true beauty is something that comes from inside the woman, not what gets painted on her face to cover up her blemishes. Granted, make-up is great for that purpose, but that shouldn't define a woman or beauty. Beauty comes from character. I've met a lot of girls who by societies standards are drop dead gorgeous. But guess what? Once I got to know them, they were not remotely pretty to me. They were horrible monsters that pass as human beings in this unintellecutal  society. They were mean to others and incredibly narcissistic. 

 I've never been one of those girls who has to put pounds of make-up on my face before I let anyone, even family, see my face that day.  I've heard guys say that push up bras are false advertising, well then why doesn't anyone ever say that make-up is false advertising?  Make-up can change a lot of things about someones face. You should know what someone looks like without make-up before committing to waking up beside them every morning for the rest of your life.  
For the record, I don't hate make-up, and I don't hate girls who wear make-up. I just don't see why society tells our girls that they have to wear make-up or they won't be pretty enough, and if  they are not pretty enough then they don't have any value. That is pure B.S. and our girls should not listen to it.